Ancient words meet your now
a Zen dialogue experience
Based on Ekottara Āgama, Volume 31–5
This is a story of insight learned from failure—when Anuruddha fell asleep during the Buddha’s Dharma talk.As you read on, the atmosphere of a monastic training hall from 2,500 years ago comes vividly to life.
Though rooted in Buddhist scripture, the story offers reflections that resonate with everyday learning and awareness, even for readers unfamiliar with Buddhism.
Falling Asleep During the Dharma Talk (Anuruddha)
(Currently giving a Dharma talk)
zzz
Hmm?
Stares…
zzz
poke poke > Anuruddha
(whispering) Anuruddha! Wake up, Anuruddha!
zzz
…Well, let’s continue then.
(Currently giving a Dharma talk)
During the Dharma talk, Anuruddha fell asleep. The disciples hurried to wake him, but the Buddha quietly continued his Dharma talk.
Anuruddha’s Vow Against Sleep and Reflection
That will be all for today.
Ah, you two. Please tell Anuruddha…
“To come to me later.”
Huh? Us?
O-okay.
Yes… understood.
A few hours later, the disciples brought Anuruddha to the Buddha.
Excuse us.
Master, we have brought Anuruddha.
Yes. Thank you for your effort.
Now, Anuruddha.
I have something I want to ask you.
Yes…
Why did you become my disciple?
Huh, why I became a disciple?
How does something so long ago relate to me now?
Recall carefully.
Well, back then, I had a great worry.
I thought about how to resolve that confusion, and that’s when I met you, Master, and asked to become your disciple.
Wasn’t that worry or confusion painful?
Yes, of course. Worry and confusion aren’t painless, right?
So, were those worries, confusion, and suffering resolved?
Uh… to be honest, when I was accepted as a disciple, I just felt relieved…
Even though I had worries and confusion, at that time, I had no answers and no clue. In such a state, it was impossible not to feel anxious. It was painful.
But I thought if I followed you, somehow it would be okay…
I ask again.
Have you resolved your worries, confusion, and suffering?
I…? Huh?
I wonder…
Saying “I have resolved my worries and suffering” feels wrong.
I see. That’s a relief.
So, you have not resolved your worries, confusion, and suffering.
Then why did you become my disciple?
I had worries, confusion, and suffering. I became your disciple to resolve them.
Then why do you fall asleep during my Dharma talks?
Well… I do try to listen, but the more I listen, the sleepier I get…
Yes… that’s true.
…Anuruddha. Do you have any excuses?
No. I am sorry!
I, Anuruddha, vow: from now on I will not sleep.
In front of my Master… never…
Good. If you understand, that is enough.
I am truly sorry.
Consequences of the Vow Against Sleep (Extreme Effort)
Honestly, even I sometimes get sleepy just listening to the talk.
Well, that happens. But if it keeps happening, it’s no longer just sleepiness, right?
Yes, if it continues, it becomes laziness.
And the Buddha’s Dharma is related to resolving suffering, so it’s serious.
Ah, the Master left home to resolve his own suffering.
Look, the Dharma talk is starting.
(Currently giving a Dharma talk)
I vowed in front of my Master… never to sleep… never…
Anuruddha is awake.
Yes, good, good.
That night…
zzz
zzz
I will never sleep… never…
Days passed.
I will never sleep… never…
Whoa!? Anuruddha, are you okay!?
Your eyes don’t seem focused…
You look dazed. What happened!?
No, I will absolutely not sleep…
You haven’t slept at all since then!?
No… this is bad…
Master! Master!
What is it?
Anuruddha! He… hasn’t slept at all!
I see. Recently, I haven’t seen him sleep during Dharma talks.
No, it’s worse… He hasn’t slept at all since that day.
!? That day… you mean the day of the Dharma talk?
Yes! And his eyes! They’re dazed!
Anuruddha! Anuruddha!
…Hm? Ah… what is it, Master?
Your eyes… are you really okay!?
You must sleep!
No, but… I vowed not to sleep. Master, didn’t you say I shouldn’t sleep!?
I am no longer lazy. I have vowed never to do anything that leads to laziness.
Yes, I cannot indulge in sleeping idly!
No, it’s not about that…
Then, was your instruction not to sleep a lie!?
Listen. Sleeping too much leads to laziness.
But overdoing it is not good either.
Forcing it doesn’t work.
I always teach the “Middle Way”—the way of not being bound by attachment.
Even if you say “Middle Way” now, I vowed before Master. I cannot go against that vow.
That is wrong!
Hey, what’s the “Middle Way”?
Not now! We’ll talk later!
Master, maybe Anuruddha should have his eyes checked by a doctor?
Yes. Quickly call Sīvaka!
Anuruddha’s extreme effort to uphold his vow caused his eyes to be harmed due to lack of sleep.
Doctor Sivaka’s Diagnosis
Doctor Sivaka!
Yes? What is it?
Sivaka, could you please examine Anuruddha’s eyes?
An examination, you say? Very well, Anuruddha, let me see your eyes.
No, I’m fine! Nothing is wrong with me!
Anuruddha, can you see this?
I told you, nothing is wrong!
I see… hmm. Anuruddha, are you getting enough sleep?
Sleep leads to laziness. I am resisting sleep to avoid evil. I have done nothing wrong.
So… you’re saying you haven’t been sleeping?
Buddha, to be honest, his eyes are in bad condition. His vision has deteriorated considerably. At this rate, he risks losing his sight.
Then please treat him quickly!
Treatment… well, the root cause is that he is not sleeping. Without sleep, there’s nothing we can do. If he sleeps even a little, then we can try to help him recover.
Exactly…
Anuruddha, despite his vow of sleeplessness, has been warned that his extreme insomnia is causing serious eye problems. To heal, he must sleep.
Sleep is Nourishment for the Eyes
Anuruddha, even the doctor says you need sleep. Please rest.
But, Master…
No, Anuruddha! Everyone and everything requires nourishment. We sustain ourselves by eating, and without it, we perish. Sleep is nourishment for your eyes.
I understand, Master, but when I made my vow not to sleep, you accepted it and said ‘Very well!’
That encouragement was my nourishment! It gave me the strength to keep my vow.
Yes, my teachings can also be nourishment. That is why I told you not to sleep while listening to my Dharma talk. But now, your eyes need nourishment.
Yes, I understand that sleep is nourishment for the eyes. But that encouragement was what reminded me of why I became your disciple, why I wished to resolve my suffering back then. At that time, I realized that being idle was my failure. I cannot waste time on sleep anymore.
Not being idle is nourishment for the resolution of suffering. That realization was correct, was it not?
Yes, not being idle contributes to resolving suffering. That is not wrong.
Exactly! Sleeping was my failure. Laziness leads to wasted time.
However, Anuruddha, now your eyes need sleep—
I understand, but it is contradictory. I can only choose one. If one is right and one is wrong, I choose sleeplessness!
No, that’s exactly why I teach the Middle Way. It is not about choosing one and rejecting the other. Please, just sleep. Your body and eyes need it.
So… sleep, you mean?
But I will not sleep. Excuse me!
Anuruddha! Wait!
He has left…
Master, what is the Middle Way?
Now is not the time… I must follow Anuruddha.
Anuruddha Sewing the Robe
I guess I have to sew my robe today…
Mine is also fraying badly.
Shall we work together?
Hmm? Someone over there is sewing too. That’s Anuruddha, isn’t it?
Is he okay?
Hmm?
You remember what happened last time… his eyesight has been getting worse, perhaps he can’t see anymore.
Really? Sewing a robe must be extremely difficult then.
Let’s go help him.
Anuruddha, let me thread the needle for you.
Master!? Did I say that out loud?
What do you mean?
I was thinking someone could thread this needle for me…
Then let me help. Hand it over.
Wait, I didn’t mean it for you, Master. I meant anyone else.
Does anyone count? Am I an exception?
Yes. Everyone seeks their own happiness, but you, Master, are beyond that. My request was meant for ordinary people, not someone special like you.
Anuruddha, everyone seeks happiness, but few seek it as sincerely as I do.
Do you seek happiness too?
I do, but I do not satisfy or reject it. Now, perhaps you can understand.
The Buddha’s way pervades the sea of birth and death.
I have also transcended my earlier mindset. Thank you, Master.
In this world, there are many kinds of power—
intellectual power, physical strength, authority, even violence.
Powers of all sorts are countless…
But if you were to ask which of these is the greatest, I would answer: the power of well-being.
It is through this power of well-being that the Buddha’s way is realized.
See? Your needle is threaded already.
Thank you, Master.
I shall take my leave now.
Learning from Mistakes: The Middle Way (Anuruddha)
Anuruddha, about the recent events…
Ah, you two. I apologize for the trouble before.
No, please, tell us more.
After all that happened, my perspective has changed.
Really? I felt some connection with the Master too.
Yes. After all, I had been dozing off during dharma talk. I was lax, content with simply being a disciple. The Master admonished me for that.
And that motivated you to change your course, right?
Yes! I remembered the importance of diligence. But I became so focused on diligence that I overdid it.
Exactly. Too much diligence can harm your body.
But you can’t just be lazy either, right?
True, but constantly staying tense puts stress on the body. Rest is necessary too.
You are both right. That’s what the Master called the Middle Way.
‘The Middle Way’? That’s what I’ve been wanting to ask too.
What exactly does that mean?
You’ve already started talking about it yourselves, haven’t you?
For example, think of when you’re driving—your car, bicycle, anything really. You’re on the road.
As you move forward, you start drifting more and more to the left. You’re almost off the road. What would you do?
Turn the wheel to the right, of course.
Yes. That way, you can stay on the road.
Now, if you start drifting to the right and are about to go off the road, what would you do?
Turn the wheel to the left, obviously.
Exactly. That keeps you on the road. You see, steering right and left—this is how driving works.
And in the same way, we are steering ourselves.
Steering ourselves?
Yes. Going back to what we talked about earlier, effort and rest are opposites. Like left and right…
Effort means applying energy, while rest means letting go of it.
Effort is tensing up, rest is relaxing. They’re opposites, yes.
Let’s try imagining this: turning left represents making effort, and turning right represents resting.
Now here’s the question: if a person keeps making effort, effort, and effort without stopping, what happens?
You push too hard. Eventually, you’ll exceed your limits.
Exactly. And then you’re about to go off the road. What do you do?
Turn the wheel to the right, to rest… yes.
Yes. That way, you can stay on the road.
I see. So resting is also important.
Yes.
But if you only rest all the time…
You’d become lazy.
Exactly. And then you’re about to go off the road. What do you do?
Turn the wheel to the left, to make effort.
Yes. That way, you can stay on the road.
I see. To stay on the road, you move through the middle. That’s the Middle Way, isn’t it?
That’s the tricky part.
Huh? If you stay in the middle, you won’t go off the road, right?
The Middle Way is steering yourself. You have to actually drive yourself, learn from experience.
For example, in my case, I tended to slack off and had a habit of being lazy. When I first became a disciple, I had forgotten the importance of effort and was only thinking about rest.
In other words, I could only turn the wheel to the right.
Only turning right, to rest? That’s not really resting—that’s slacking off.
My teacher admonished me, and I remembered the importance of making effort. That was good. I started walking the road again.
But then I became so focused on making effort that I only saw effort as right.
In other words, I could only turn the wheel to the left.
Only turning left? That’s not effort, that’s overdoing it.
If you can only turn one way, it’s obvious you’ll go off the road eventually.
In short, being attached to one side causes imbalance.
But if you stay in the middle, you won’t go off the road, right?
If you fix the wheel in the center, you can’t steer at all.
Ah… I see.
Actually, that’s the hardest way to drive. (laughs)
It’s better if at least you can turn right or left.
We must remember: only by being able to turn right and left can we actually steer.
Do you understand what’s important?
Making effort is important, and……
Resting is important too.
Even though effort and rest are different, both are equally important.
So the discussion about well-being isn’t just about having happiness satisfied… right?
Well, being satisfied alone isn’t exactly happiness, I suppose.
So it’s not saying “don’t seek happiness” as in rejecting it.
Yes, rejecting satisfaction won’t make you happy either.
It gets complicated when you think about it too much…
Hmm. Well, that’s probably something each of us can only see by walking our own path.
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