On Grasping, Gratitude, and the Fire We Keep Feeding

Buddhist talk 11

We are surrounded by things we barely notice — things so familiar they have become invisible. And yet nothing lasts. Nothing is truly guaranteed to be there tomorrow.
This talk, drawn from the Saṃyuktāgama, explores upādāna — the grasping that pulls us toward what we don’t have, while blinding us to what we do.
Through a dialogue between the Buddha and his disciples, we search for a way of seeing that neither clings nor dismisses — a way that allows us to treasure what is right here, right now.

Let’s Talk About Upādāna (取)

Buddha
Buddha

Shall we talk today about upādāna?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Upādāna? You mean “grasping”?

Disciple2
Disciple2

According to a Buddhist dictionary, upādāna (取) means “to seek after all manner of objects without pause, to take hold and not release.”

Disciple1
Disciple1

The desire to make something yours.
The desire not to let go of what is already yours.
I suppose you could call it the urge to possess?

Disciple2
Disciple2

You might also connect it with the simple image of “taking” something.

Disciple1
Disciple1

Like — “to get your hands on something,” “to reach out and grasp it,” “to never want to let go once you have it”?

Disciple2
Disciple2

Picturing the desire to possess alongside the actual motion of the hands might help make it vivid.

Buddha
Buddha

When one is bound by upādāna, whether something can be obtained or not becomes what one is most concerned with in life.

The View of “Mine” or “Not Mine” — Inside the Hand, Outside the Hand

Disciple2
Disciple2

“Mine” or “Not Mine”

“Within my grasp” or “beyond my reach.”

Is this what it means for this to become the main concern of life?

Buddha
Buddha

Yes. But do you remember a conversation we had before?

Someone said, if I recall: “Whether or not a thing belongs to you, the thing itself still exists, does it not?”

Disciple1
Disciple1

Yes.

Disciple2
Disciple2

 Was that the talk about “being” and “non-being”?

Buddha
Buddha

It was.

Buddha
Buddha

We get caught up trying to grasp things and calculating how to make them ours.
But that’s exactly when we should observe ourselves carefully and reflect calmly.

That is also what I said.

 

Disciple1
Disciple1

Whether you obtain it or not, it is already there.
Yet whether it is inside your hand or outside your hand — when one is gripped by upādāna, that difference becomes everything.

I believe I said something like that before.

The Talk of “Being” and “Non-Being”

Buddha
Buddha

Speaking of “inside the hand” and “outside the hand” — let us take an example. A thing exists. Here, the robes we are wearing exist right here, do they not?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Yes. They clearly exist.

Buddha
Buddha

Then will they exist forever?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Of course not. Robes wear out, they tear…

Disciple2
Disciple2

Someday they will be “non-existent.”

Buddha
Buddha

They are in being — and yet they will pass into non-being.
They will pass into non-being — and yet here they are, in being.

Disciple1
Disciple1

We see that this is being and non-being.

Disciple2
Disciple2

As you always teach, when we observe things carefully, everything is changing.

Becoming “Ordinary”

Buddha
Buddha

Yes. And yet — take something you own.
After a while, having it simply becomes something ordinary, does it not?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Of course. If you wear something every day, its presence feels completely normal.

Buddha
Buddha

And when things are taken for granted, don’t people grow increasingly indifferent to them?

Disciple2
Disciple2

Ah, perhaps so.
And then they stop taking care of them.
They start to take for granted that something — or someone — will just be there…

Buddha
Buddha

And yet even the things that seem simply to be there will someday cease to be.

Disciple1
Disciple1

I believe that because I know it will someday be gone, I can treasure this moment while it is here.

Buddha
Buddha

Yes. And there are those who only realize after it is gone how grateful they should have been.

Disciple2
Disciple2

But in truth, even the things that feel ordinary — the things that are simply there — will inevitably be gone someday. We don’t know when, but we do know it will happen, surely?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Right. Though it’s easy to forget when something has become so taken for granted…

Buddha
Buddha

Even the things before us that feel ordinary will someday no longer be there. That is why, truly, the fact of something being is a far more remarkable and difficult thing than we usually imagine.

“The Ordinary and the Wonderful”

Disciple1
Disciple1

To exist is difficult. And yet the things right here before us — the most familiar, the most constant — are the ones most easily taken for granted.

Disciple2
Disciple2

What we call “ordinary” is, in truth, something to be deeply grateful for.
Is that what you’re saying?

Disciple1
Disciple1

And yet no matter how remarkable something is — if it is always near and constantly present, it starts to feel ordinary.

Buddha
Buddha

What is taken as ordinary is something to be grateful for.
And what is truly wonderful gradually becomes ordinary.

Disciple2
Disciple2

Once something is obtained, it becomes ordinary — and we stop cherishing it.

Disciple1
Disciple1

And then you’re never satisfied, always chasing the next thing, and the next after that, without end?

Disciple2
Disciple2

Yes. Because what you haven’t yet obtained — what feels rare, what feels just out of reach — is what begins to pull at you…

Disciple1
Disciple1

The ordinary becomes invisible, and we stop valuing it.
The wonderful feels precious, and we cling to it.

The Parable of Feeding the Flames

Buddha
Buddha

If that is how things go, it is like feeding logs endlessly into a fire.

Disciple2
Disciple2

If you keep throwing logs into the fire without stopping, the flames will eventually exceed what it can contain…

Disciple1
Disciple1

The flames spread to what is nearby, then further still — until everything around is caught up in the blaze.

Buddha
Buddha

More logs, greater flames.
Then what if no more logs are added?

Disciple2
Disciple2

Naturally, the fire would diminish.

What Does It Mean to Stop Adding Logs?

Buddha
Buddha

Precisely. So then — what does it mean to stop adding logs?

Disciple2
Disciple2

“Inside” or “outside.” “Being” or “non-being.” “Ordinary” or “wonderful.”

If the act of dividing and separating these — of drawing distinctions — is what feeds the fire, then…

Disciple1
Disciple1

Whether it’s inside your hand or outside your hand, the fact that something is there does not change.

Could that way of seeing be what it means to stop adding logs?

Disciple2
Disciple2

So does that mean you don’t necessarily have to make everything your own possession?

Disciple1
Disciple1

Well — if you need something, you can borrow it rather than own it. There’s much that can be shared. And if you don’t need it, you can give it to someone who does.

Disciple2
Disciple2

But if you’re fixated on what is “yours,” you can’t even lend or borrow things — you can’t let go of what you don’t need, and you can’t rest unless you own what you think you should own.

Disciple1
Disciple1

Simply put — you lose your flexibility. (laughs)

Disciple2
Disciple2

I see. Then what about “being” and “non-being”?
How does that play out?

Disciple1
Disciple1

For instance — even if something is very dear to me, if I believe it will certainly always be there, I find I can no longer truly cherish it.

 

Because if I think that no matter how carelessly I treat it, it will still be there — that its being there is simply a given — my handling of it inevitably becomes rough.

Disciple2
Disciple2

I understand. And the opposite extreme — thinking that because it will eventually be gone, it is as good as already gone — that also makes it impossible to cherish. That would be something like nihilism, wouldn’t it?

 

“Everything is nothing, so nothing we do has meaning” — that kind of thinking.

Disciple1
Disciple1

So… it is here, and yet someday it will be gone. Someday it will be gone, and yet here it is now.

Disciple2
Disciple2

“Being” or “non-being” — not just one side alone.

A View That Does Not Lean to One Side

Disciple1
Disciple1

Taking the ordinary for granted makes us stop valuing it.

But treating something as so wonderful and special causes us to cling to it.

Disciple2
Disciple2

Neither “ordinary” alone, nor “wonderful” alone.

Disciple1
Disciple1

What is ordinary, seen differently, is wonderful — and what is most wonderful, eventually feels ordinary.

Disciple2
Disciple2

I see. “Inside” or “outside,” “being” or “non-being,” “ordinary” or “wonderful” — the more we lean toward one side alone, the more the truth of the other side vanishes from view.

Disciple1
Disciple1

And, to follow the thought further — clinging to “adding logs” or “not adding logs” as opposites would be the same cycle repeating itself. (laughs)

Disciple2
Disciple2

Ah — yes, of course.

Buddha
Buddha

When we carefully observe the arising and passing of things in this way, what truly matters begins to come into view.


日本語版はこちら↓

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